In the Moment: Words Matter
Photo Credit: Emily Giacomini
I enjoy hitting the Farmers Market from time to time. The blend of earthy vendors, colorful veggies and contented toddlers munching on pastries against the backdrop of a local musician’s tunes make it a pleasant experience and a ripe spot for people-watching. On a recent visit I arrived earlier than usual to beat the crowds and advance my busy day.
Not typically a fan of anything fermented, over the summer I’d decided to give kombucha another shot, so a few weeks before I’d stopped by a stand at the market and bought a bottle. The vendor was mentioning to another customer that he’d take 50 cents off her next purchase if she returned the glass bottle and that he’d even accept empty bottles of other kombucha brand labels. I clarified, “Even for other brands?” “Yes.” Good to know! It seemed an easy way to take the edge of a pricey treat and experiment with something new.
By this particular Saturday I’d saved up seven bottles, including the one I’d bought there. “How can I help?” he asked, as I approached the stand. “I brought these bottles to apply to a purchase- you said 50 cents each, right?” “Yes,” he said somewhat hesitantly, taking the bag before adding, “It’s for returning customers . . . we’re not a recycling center.” What?! Thrown off by his curt response, I was slow in choosing.
He did the calculation, which came to $4.50 for the item. When I gave him a $5 note, he stated bluntly that they didn’t have change. “Ok, let me see if I have coins.” I checked my purse and confirmed I had only a few euros, not having yet swapped out the contents for quarters and dimes after a recent trip. Handing back the bill he said, “You can pay the exact amount in cash or you can pay by card- we’re not a bank.” What?! Stunned by his comments, I felt a mix of embarrassment and confusion- had I done something wrong?- and fear that if I replied right away it might have been in an angry retort.
Even before I gave him my card I was second-guessing the purchase. It took me a day to open the beverage because our interaction had left such a bad taste in my mouth. Of course, later I thought of a great many things I could have said in the moment:
I AM a returning customer.
You sound angry. What’s happening?
Is there an expectation you have of how many bottles someone can return? Or a minimum number they must buy in order to return some? That wasn’t clear when you shared the process last time.
I don’t do shame. If you don’t have change, you can say so and leave it at that.
Do you want my business?
Did you know when people have a positive customer service experience they tell two people and when they have a negative one, they tell nine people?
Don’t worry, I won’t be back.
Processing this brief conversation, it’s surprising to see how much damage was done in under three minutes. For my part, I’ve had to give myself grace for not speaking up in the moment. Of the many other possible lessons here, these rise to the top: Words matter! So does being a person of your word, especially when faced with the unintended consequences of a plan you designed. Customer service matters and so does treating others respectfully, no matter the situation.
Leaders- what does it look like to pause before responding, if you find yourself irked unexpectedly? How quickly do you own and honor the policies you’ve created while giving yourself space to pivot and implement more appropriate options for the future? What does it look like to repair relationships damaged in haste, for the sake of those impacted and your own reputation?
May each of us have the self-composure and courage . . . to speak up well in the moment when something’s not quite right and to respond well in the moment when we regret a prior commitment we’ve made.