Reframing Failure
Photo Credit: Marek Piwnicki
Recently I experienced a failure in my professional life. I didn’t pass a significant test in a course of study that is important to me. It’s hard to express what I felt since so many emotions surfaced- sometimes one at a time, replacing each other as if in slow motion . . . and at other times all mashed together in a tangle like a thicket of thorns. It was as if I’d jumped on the merry-go-round of that beautiful, colorful chart that is the wheel of emotions. Surprise, disappointment, embarrassment, shame, anger and dismay all made their presence known.
At first I felt very much alone, except for the kind text of a mentor who had a window into my world. He encouraged me to give myself time to process the whirling sea of emotions before diving into a strategic plan to try again. I’m so grateful for his gracious, non-judgmental words at a time when I felt a bit raw.
As a day went by and I had a chance to sleep on the news, my mind began to slowly shift into looking ahead, even while still processing the mire of feelings. In a conversation with my mentor I began to see myself through his eyes, as already skilled and fully capable, someone growing into an even deeper knowledge of the material I am aiming to master. It was significant to see my true ability through his lens, especially when my own had gotten foggy.
In the time since then, I’ve heard wisdom from both familiar and unexpected places- from friends, in songs on the radio, even from event speakers. One quote that stood out was from Wayne Dyer: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Since lifting my head enough to look forward, I’ve envisioned myself hitting a meaningful professional target. Glancing back from the vantage point of that future victory to where I am today, I see myself rising from where I fell and racing toward the goal: calm, steady, intentional and confident.
Two people in my sphere of influence had the audacity to suggest that the areas in which I missed the mark may become my areas of greatest strength. Oh, that it may be so! It’s true that since they’ve been highlighted, I’ve now got a keen motivation to develop them with renewed vigor.
As I return to my books, I’m glad for the chance to have wrestled with myself, stepping into the reassurance of people who care about me and know me well, while anticipating with curiosity where this “bump in the road” will take me in supporting leaders looking to bring their own unique talents to the world.
Who’s on your team when you need a reminder of all you have to offer and can invite you into a spacious place to contemplate your next steps? What’s the future goal beckoning and from which you’ll be able to look back and recognize the current dip as a mere blip propelling you to your next level? May you be kind to yourself and courageous along the way!